Looking for lifewriting buddy

[rjburchett]

Hi, I'm looking for one or more people who are serious about using the Lifewriting system to share the process with. I find that some of my goals tend to slink off and hide in my blind spots, and know that having others hold me accountable makes a big difference.

A weekly email exchange is probably the best - a basic report on accomplishments & difficulties, and goals for the next week.

Does anyone have a good system for goal tracking that would be easy to email?

Thanks,
Robin Burchett - [e-mail]

[Steven Barnes]

Scary stuff, huh? Good for you, Robin. To get started, you might want to list your three top goals here, along with your opinion about where you are on the Hero's Journey in each one of them. I'll add my thoughts.

[rjburchett]

Hi Steve,

Here are my three major goals for ’08

BODY:
This one is simple. I will reach 165 lbs by June of ’08, with substantial gains in muscle and fat. I practiced IF fairly regularly through the summer. I’ll post on that topic another time – short story is, I got down to 138 lbs, which is just too d**ned skinny. I’ve had a devil of a time gaining it back. I’m up over 150 now, and have a solid routine of weightlifting and eating a lot.

Actually, I’m struggling with the discipline of eating enough. I guess I’m still at the ‘accepting the challenge’ phase of that one. I don’t want to plan and measure and count calories. But just ‘trying to eat more’ is not cutting it. (I give myself allergy injections, and have lost the subcutaneous fat needed to make that process pleasant.)

I’m on the road of trials with the weightlifting part. To gain friends and allies, I will continue to read books on the subject. In March I should be in a position to workout with a friend regularly, and in April I will work with a personal trainer for at least three sessions to fine tune my workout.


SPIRIT:
The most important thing is to regain a consistently positive mood and outlook. I’ve always been resilient emotionally, and have always thought of myself as the source of compassion and cheer for my friends and family. Lately, however, I’ve been depressed a lot and am often bitter, cranky and hard to live with. As the wife puts it, “You used to be fun.” Indeed.

I am on the road of trials, gathering friends and allies.

I am beginning to meditate again. I have one good friend supporting me in this and will find a community to join. The goal is 3x/week for 20 minutes.

I am seeing a nutritionist and naturopath to see if anything physiologically is wrong. The specific measurable outcome is to actually do what they tell me to do.

We now have a house built for entertaining and have started throwing parties. The goal is to have one monthly monster-size potluck, with the request that guests bring someone interesting for us to meet. (We’ve been so busy working and raising kids we’ve rather forgotten to have a social life.)

By Feb. 28, I will find or start an appropriate writing group. Getting that part of my life working again may do more than all the above put together!


MIND:
I have a chronic tendency to set way more goals than I can possibly accomplish, then scurry around doing random urgent things that may or may not relate. I am very distractible by nature, and as the main caregiver for three small boys (who just missed a WEEK of school due to snow), it is a significant challenge for me to stay focused.

The goal is simple: to be clear at the start of each day what my main objectives are, and at the end of each day whether I’ve met them.

I am currently in the dark night of the soul on this one, which is both cause and effect of the depression mentioned above. Oh, I’ve got the daytimer, and the 7 Habits books, and your Total Success in Three Hours a Week, etc. etc. I know how to be organized, and it’s all been very useful, but I’m still operating well below my potential.

What I’m doing:
The abovementioned meditation, just begun, should help immensely.
I’m researching attention deficit disorder for my eldest, and applying what I’m learning to myself as well.
Finding ways, such as this, to make my goals public and create a community that supports me in them.

I often get into a groove and seem to be flying along and making great strides, but something always seems to knock me off balance, at least in some areas. (I should point out here that by most measures I’m doing just fine – healthy enough, wealthy enough, great family and a wife who loves me and sees the best in me despite myself.) I honestly don’t know if I keep myself from success because my ego fears the change, of if I just get distracted because the cat threw up and the in-laws are coming for a visit and a hermit crab just died and if I don’t change the oil in the van by Saturday I’ll void the warranty and dear God it’s snowing again! Will they ever go back to school???

Ahem.

Thanks for your time and attention,
Robin

[Steven Barnes]

Don't try to figure if it's fear versus real distractions. Assume that there are REAL distractions, but the less fear and confusion we fear, the better we are at handling them and getting back on track. Choose three goals and concentrate on those, daily. Meditation shold OPTIMALLY be done daily, but 20 minutes three times a week is one hell of a lot better than most.