sharing thoughts on meditation

[thrrrnbush]

Hey there,

So I just did my quasi-meditation (focus on breathing, focus on listening to what the kids are getting into, no I mean focus on breathing. Do I still have a heartbeat? What are the kids doing? Is the dog with them? Meditate, d**n it. Meditate!) It's less than ideal but I do get some benefit from it and then I journal with a similarly divided focus. I've tried the getting up before the kids thing but it's just slowly trained my son to wake up two hours earlier than he used to. Well, despite the chaos around me I have the occasional insight. Thought I'd share just a snippet from today's post-meditation journaling.

"It's the great thing about meditation; every now and then my sight is clear enough I can see my faults scurrying under the refrigerator like roaches responding to the light. "

The fault in question at the moment is that I've been indulging in self-pity in the morning while I struggle for peace and privacy where there is none. I set myself up for failure and then allow that to set the tone of the day. Well, I gotta knock that off now too, I guess. One of these days I'd like to look myself over and say "All done, I'm perfect now." It ain't gonna happen, is it?

Thanks,
Crystal

[Steven Barnes]

I think that, even theoretically, perfection would be a verb rather than a noun, an indication of a direction in which we travel one day at a time. In other words, it might well be possible to have a nearly perfect day, but tomorrow brings new challenges. The instant you "notice" you're "perfect" you are almost by definition off the path. That Body/Mind/Spirit balance is a Platonic ideal, not a place you can reach and rest. It exists in concept rather like a perfect right-angle triangle. In theory such a thing exists, but you will never actually find one. Never. Who among us has a perfect body, a perfect career, and a perfect relationship? I know no one. If you don't take responsibility for all three arenas, you can con yourself into thinking you do, but inevitably people are "cutting themselves slack" in one or more of these areas:
1) blaming genetics, or emotions, or time constraints for their body composition
2) blaming their partner for an unsatisfying marriage
3) blaming business partners, or their gender or race or the economy for their lack of financial success or satisfaction.
EVERYBODY plays one of those games, to some degree or other. The trick is to take a little more responsibility every day.
##
Crystal, the meditation you've described is exactly right. As you begin to walk that path, you will find all of the things that you use to stop yourself, all of the destractions. As we become adults, we lose the right to make childish excuses for ourselves. We have to negotiate our way through the world without expecting rescue--although there are many allies along the path. The obstacles to successful meditation are themselves awesome teachers.

Steve

[thrrrnbush]

First of all I find the censorship on this board fascinating. I'm all for bleeping d**n, but I couldn't type thingyroaches. That's just silly. A rooster fight could end up sounding more obscene on this board after the alteration. I'm generally pretty clean mouthed but I'm tempted to swearing just to see what the board will do with it. Knee-jerk rebellion again.

As to perfection it would be dull anyway. Think of all the ego-centric hours I've devoted to questioning and adjusting who I am. What would I do if that were finished? Still I like checking things off as DONE. It's worse as a housewife I think. Dishes, diapers, laundry- my daily work is so recurrent. Sigh.

I have to say my children are obstacles to meditation and awesome teachers, but I suspect you meant that in a broader sense. I get annoyed with the journey from time to time but goodness knows it beats the alternatives.

Thanks,
Crystal

[Steven Barnes]

Our children are allies and teachers. That is life. Life is not sitting in a cave somewhere with no distractions (although it can be good to get off by ourselves from time to time.) The usefulness of a stress reduction technique is its ability to help us in the midst of chaos. Take one minute, five times a day (every hour divisible by three) to breathe slowly and steadily for one minute, and listen to your heartbeat. Connect with the love within you, and learn to extend it to those child-people.

It's just the path, hon.
Steve

[borderwarden]

Steve,
when I attempt meditation, I usually fall asleep , due to the fact that it is my peaceful time. I try to stay focused , but my mind drifts and automatically I seek to make myself more comfortable, thus getting ready for bed ;D
Any suggestions ?

[Steven Barnes]

You are probably going to sleep because your ego doesn't want you to reach the truth of yourself, and uses fatigue as a distraction. This is why moving meditations like Tai chi and Yoga were evolved, to connect hte mind and body so that you can see more clearly the tricks our egos play on us. Try sitting erect, or standing with the spine straightened as if held by a string from above. The more hurt we are, the more we identify with our justifications and rationalizations. Try to get beyond them, and we trigger a threat response like you wouldn't believe--and we are ALWAYS just smart enough to con ourselves into taking the wrong road.