Whatever made you decide to write?

[marylahree]

Just out of curiosity, and as a way of getting to know others on this forum, I wonder what made you decide that you wanted to try writing?

Myself, I think that my interest in books began when I learned to read in first grade. It was the most awesome thing to me, that someone had actually created shapes that stood for sounds, and that one could arrange those shapes to form written words. I have a specific memory in which I can envision myself reading, "See Spot go.", for the very first time. My teacher did such a fantastic job of making me feel good about the accomplishment - and did I ever think I was hot stuff!

Fifth grade impacted me as much as first grade did, as I seemed to have a natural ability to spell, usually just by sounding out a word. My fifth-grade teacher would divide the class in teams and I would often be the last one standing - the undefeated speller, (although I don't know what has happened to that ability since).

High school also influenced me. Honestly, I was just being a smart ass when I decided to write a story about a newly-licensed teenage boy who wrecklessly ran over a "piss ant". Of course, my objective was to get away with writing the cuss word, "piss", (teenagers can be so foolish when going through rebelous stages). But I suspect my teacher saw through me. She made no mention of the foul word. She only graded my ability to compose the story, even writing a personal comment about enjoying my imagination. I received an A+, which I've never forgotten.

The reason that writing interests me today probably has more to do with an effort to find something creative, and perhaps worthwhile to do with my life; maybe even something that could turn profitable. That, because I have health issues that prevent me from being employed outside the home. I could never tell an employer that I didn't feel up to working on a given day - or number of days. But I can put writing aside until I'm recovered enough to go at it again. In fact, putting the writing aside helps me view it with fresh eyes, as I often forget what I had written.

Mary

[delilah]

My sixth grade English teacher told us she really liked a few people's stories, and I thought mine must be one of them. ;D But that isn't when I knew.

It was in seventh grade after I had a creepy dream. I thought, "I want to write that into a book!"

It wasn't even until eighth grade that I started reading on my own. I got alot of attention for bringing Ruby Jean Jenson's Wait and See to school (the book had a skeleton with long red hair on the cover). My english teacher reccomended Stephen King's It, and I finished learning all cuss words... and I was hooked.

Delilah

[Steven Barnes]

I used to tell elaborate lies. Writing stories was a way to do it without being spanked.

[temporus]

I've never not written. I have always been a storyteller. Some of those stories are for other people. Many are just for me. Most of the stories I make up never see the page. Of those that do, most do not make it out the door. Out of those that do make it out the door, most come back.

Even when I tried to walk away from writing, I found myself writing stories. Just for a different audience. Twice, I walked away, choosing to persue other courses. Yet I find myself again staring at the blank page, seething with stories to write down. So I write, because I cannot escape it. I don't see any other possibility.

[delilah]

I tell myself stories to fall asleep. These are usually stories for me, but sometimes they can be modified into something to write.

Delilah

[marylahree]

If I were ever to see something published, I might be one of the one-book wonders. I don't have a mine of story ideas in my head. Most of what I write is entered into a semi-daily journal and pertains to my feeling about family, events, and more often coping with the pains of this darn disease. But every once in a while I come up with some idea and think, wouldn't that be funny, or wouldn't that be frightening. In my mind I can actually see the scenes of drama play out, feel how the involved probably feel. Beyond that, and far less often, I might have a juicy dream that I believe could make for a good story. Anyway, this does leave me wondering, what does a professional writer do when they feel drained of fresh ideas? Watch the news and revise specifics? Or, am I just not really the writer-type if I'm lacking that mine of constant ideas?

[Steven Barnes]

Writers have access to their creative flow, sure. Some have it naturally, but it can be developed through techniques like the Dream Diary, meditation, flow state training, etc. Now, that says, it doesn't mean that those will be GOOD ideas, but your flow of ideas should never cease. After that, its all execution.

[marylahree]

Thank you, Steven. When I started reading of others who seem to have a stream of ideas I began to wonder if I ought to just throw in the towel. Self-doubt is somewhat of an obstacle for me. It's good to know that there are also methods to come up with ideas.

Execution. I'm still working on that much on many levels. And again, self-doubt comes into play. I'm probably my worst critic - at least that's what my sister keeps telling me about my writing ability. But I find it difficult to let outsiders read my fictional work, tend to think it's never good enough. By way of trying to prove me wrong, she took a beginning chapter or two to a college english professor. He read it, said it had some minor mistakes, but that it was a "page-turner". That encouraged me somewhat. The "mistakes" did not. I've yet to finish it, probably tossed what I had typed out, though I basically recall what I had written.

[temporus]

Mary,

Writing isn't about what others have or do not have in their toolbox. Comparing yourself to me, or Steven, or anyone else on the board is a dangerous gambit that can trip you up if you let it. One of my strengths, is that I am able to snatch ideas out of the ether as they swim by. Through instinct and experience, I've learned how to spot where the fish are biting, and park myself there.

Do not get hung up on ideas. The question I've seen time and again asked of authors: How do you get your ideas? The answer I see again and again: ideas aren't important. What you need to know is how to turn an idea into a story.

As to never letting others read your work, that's something you have to think hard about. No one says you can't be a writer who writes only for yourself with no eye to publication. But if being published is something you do aspire to, you have to let others read your work. If no one else, at least editors, or you will never reach that goal.

[marylahree]

Temporus, thank you. I'm not sure whether I've been comparing, as in comparing to any specific person or persons. More, it's that not everyone has a desire to write, and of those who do, some don't seem to "have what it takes" (which is not to say that they can't get "it"). I think I'm trying to find "it".

I have been considering what you wrote about letting others read my work. I do allow some family members to read it, even ask their opinions and listen to their feedback. I know that I will have to get past not trusting outsiders to critique. Perhaps it would be that deflated feeling of (possible) rejection that I fear. But you're right, I do hope to complete at least one specific project and see it published. And to do that I will need to conquer my fear. Smiles, Mary

[temporus]

Mary,

Rejection is a part of writing, if you are interested in it as a business. (IE for publication.) There's no easy way around that, expect to build up your tolerance. I have a stack of rejection letters I keep in a folder. When I get bummed out, I look through the stack, and remember not the failure that they represent, but the determination.

Perhaps you would do well to find a local critique group, and join up. Sharing with other writers before you get to the stage of sending out to editors, might make it easier for you.

[Steven Barnes]

Of all the things that stop us from reaching our goals, or enjoying life, fear is probably the biggest. But that doesn't mean to wholeheartedly throw away all fear--it also protects us. But we should find a means of sorting through our fears and discarding those that do not serve us.

[drea]

i have decided to write, and to use the process to find myself and my voice. for too long i've felt a fraud when complemented on writing because sometimes it's just so free and easy. when i attempt to write in a disciplined manner it's too hard and i condemn myself. i'm closing in on 70 and it has to be now if i'm going to gain ability, learn the craft, and tell the stories that come easily off my lips and much harder on paper. i have to do it. the regret i would feel at the end would be too great otherwise.

[marylahree]

Hi Drea. I admire your determination, and don't let age even factor in. Too, though writing may come easy to you, I don't believe it makes you a fraud. It takes of your energy and time, and shares a bit of your essence with others. What does any form of work do?

Steven, I've read a few self-help books that, in general, have to do with psychology, but more about a particular aspect of healing. One was on the topic of fears, read several years back, and I am realizing I need to dig it out again and re-read. But I believe there has been a deeper reason for that fear, and that I met up with it today - It is that I need a better understanding of how to write. Identifying theme, which is not to say that I don't have a theme, but just that I have not been fully grasping the concept. I have a feel of the concept of theme, I think, but could not put it into my own words, and I think that would be a good test of complete understanding.

Temporous, you are an encouragement! I like the way you turn the lemons into lemonade. I suppose I haven't been clear enough concerning the fear I've had. I didn't mean everyone by "outsiders". I meant deliberately sending my work to a professional. I have posted a couple of samples of my writing on a site for other non-published writers to critique. Most are not at my same writing level though, and some are advanced. Each of us is learning and I do critique the work of others, try to be kind, yet honest about my perceptions.

[aprilg]

Actually, I got to wonder why I write. I get really tired of trying to figure out which market to send my stories to, and I haven't bothered sending out query packages on my novel for over a year. Maybe I am just writing for myself.

Nanowrimo is coming up again and this will be my fifth year doing it, and I completed the 50,000 words in 30 days for the last four years. I like the disipline of writing 1,667 words a day. It's a rush.

So, I like writing, it's a good outlet for my creativity, but the business aspect of finding publishers is frustrating. I sold my first short story to Pulphouse back in the early 90's, they folded before I could be published. Then two years ago I sold a story to Amalgamae Magazine. I got my $25 check, but they then went belly up. I sold a story to Walking Bones Magazine, last year, signed the contract, never got my $5 and then they dissappeared off of the web shortly after the story was published. Since I was never paid, I don't know whether to say it was published or not. There's not a trace of it on the web any more. Then I published at Brilliant!, for no pay, a flash fiction. I've submitted stories twenty time so far this year. I have eleven short stories to find homes for, and I'm working on two more stories at this time.

I don't know why I'm doing this anymore. I do love writing and editing, but at the end of the day, what do I have? And what do I want to have?

Fifteen years ago I had this vision of my name on a book at the local libary. I've written four novels, edited two of them to my liking and still can't be bothered to research more agents and publishers after getting 14 reject letters.

I guess I'm just filled with self doubt. I feel like this women who knits sweaters and gives them away as presents to people who will never wear them.

Thanks for listening.